"Please don't ___ that" (plea from a Twitch streamer who just did something really really dumb)
9A
Food for [this clue's number plus 2]
14A
___ Atarax (indie crossword person)
15A
Star Wars character at the center of some very stupid ASMR videos
16A
Kick the bucket
17A
Mexican city that has nothing to do with the cheese that you get when you take away one of the doubled letters
19A
Type of bin
20A
Excuse my grandma uses when she doesn't remember something that a 7th grader would easily know
22A
Grp. that has the right to bear Rs??? (i really wanted to find a good pun for this entry but i just couldn't sorry)
23A
/ (i love being able to clue things as just a punctuation mark, shoutout to ISTO as well)
24A
Descriptor for some old memes
25A
Suffix for Jerry
26A
Some gross holiday drinks
29A
Had, as kids, or make fall asleep, as kids in your science class, Mrs. Thomas
30A
Tee relatives
32A
Codswallop
33A
"We're listening, teach!"
36A
Some lil' chargers
37A
Jack who couldn't eat jack (unless it was lean)
38A
It has so many layers
39A
Alpine skier Billy who sounds like an outlaw
41A
Class for some new students, perhaps (Abbr.)
42A
Internet abbreviation for when you make a really significant oopsie
43A
Sauce whose first two syllables aptly rhyme with "mayo"
45A
Way in which she blows
46A
Reminder to a person who wants to work together with you to eat their grandma
52A
Small string instrument that can play deep notes
53A
What those who graduate from 41-Across can hopefully do
54A
"___ One"
55A
Wraps
56A
"I'm a bad actor shit" (it's me i'm bad actor)
57A
Sees (fit)
58A
Indian pancake
59A
[Rats!]
Down
1D
Wanting sex after forming a strong emotional bond first, for short
2D
Confess
3D
"In The Heights" character who is torn about going to Stanford
4D
Steve Carell movie in which he becomes intelligent probably
5D
British animator who made such surreal viral videos as "Baaa" and "cows & cows & cows"
6D
Poet Federico García ___ whose remains were never found which is badass honestly
7D
"haven't a clue bro"
8D
Head scratch-er??? (i'm really reaching here)
9D
Zing!
10D
Massachusetts town (oh fuck! he's gonna make a new Natick! the solver is done for!) that sounds like a way of serving potatoes (ok thank god)
11D
[sarcastic clap]
12D
Actress ___ Gregory of "Crash and Bernstein" (I want to put her name in my puzzles a shit ton more often because it's such a useful entry and also because of nostalgia for kids born in the 2000s so hold onto this)
13D
It'ss upp inn thee airr
18D
Channel that infamously didn't feature Riley Savage on SportsCenter's Top 10 Plays of the Week
21D
Some sci-fi awards
24D
Makes like a hitmaker, say?
25D
Caribbean descriptor
27D
Terrible Gwyneth Paltrow brand
28D
Guy who's the butt of a ton of soup jokes, probably
29D
___ mitzvah (rite for multiple people)
30D
What nevertheless she did
31D
Insta and Snap, perhaps
33D
Acorn holder
34D
Cars that all Popels (boogers) drive, per Die Prinzen's "Mein Fahrrad" ("My Bicycle")
35D
Basic
40D
"Shoutout to the Asian girls, let the lights ___" (horrendous Drake bar)
42D
Intelligence grp. whose annual budget is classified so for all we know I have more money than them
44D
Camel havens
45D
They're spotty!
46D
Muffet morsel
47D
Reed instrument that sounds like "Right, THAT'S the thing you use to play string instruments!"
48D
"There ___ words" (awestruck reaction to seeing a really pretty Italian river)
49D
"You're so ___" (Carly Simon song that I loathe viscerally)
50D
"There ___ words" (awestruck reaction to seeing a really pretty Italian volcano (ok this clue works less well than 48-Down))