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Demetri Martin

· By Ernie · Published almost 2 years ago

Constructor's Note: Demetri Martin is one of my favorite stand-up comedians, so I took some of his one-liners and made a humorous crossword for you all! Enjoy!
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  • Mike D 🤓14:05 · almost 2 years ago
    Awesome puzzle DiamondFalcon! The jokes were funny, but I also liked your original clues (STPAT
    26A STPATGreen party honoree, for short
    , STALE
    50A STALELike Christmas cookies in spring
    , and IGOR
    2D IGORAssistant with a hunch?
    were all great).
    • DiamondFalcon constructor · almost 2 years ago
      Edit: 30-Down
      30D LOTADPokemon with a lily-pad on its head
      should say 'Pokemon', not 'Pokémon'.
      • DiamondFalcon constructor · almost 2 years ago
        Also 51-Down
        51D TALEWord with tall or fairy
        should say 'tall', not 'talk'. Sorry about that!
        • Mike D 🤓14:05 · almost 2 years ago
          Fixed these up for you :)
      • Joah The Protozoa 🤓11:00 · almost 2 years ago
        This was super fun! Loved how even short answers were part of the jokes.
        • Emma Oxford 🤓9:37 · almost 2 years ago
          Nice! The GOOUTSIDE
          45A GOOUTSIDE*"I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that's 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says ___."
          joke feels a little different in these strange times. 50-Across
          50A STALELike Christmas cookies in spring
          was my favorite clue.
          1ATee off
          1
          2
          3
          4
          5
          6
          7
          8
          9
          10
          11
          12
          13
          14
          15
          16
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          25
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          30
          31
          32
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          34
          35
          36
          37
          38
          39
          40
          41
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          43
          44
          45
          46
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          48
          49
          50
          51
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          53
          54
          55
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          59
          60
          61
          62
          63
          64
          65
          66
          67
          Across
          1. 1A
            Tee off
          2. 5A
            Firm parts (abbr.)
          3. 10A
            *"I have an L-shaped ___ - lower case."
          4. 14A
            Cool place to live? (var.)
          5. 15A
            Tricks
          6. 16A
            Drops the ball, say
          7. 17A
            *"'Finger puppet' sounds okay as a ___."
          8. 18A
            Gut or plant opening
          9. 19A
            Mother of Levi and Judah
          10. 20A
            *"I think a ___ is really insensitive. That's like killing something and then making one of its friends hold it."
          11. 22A
            *"I think it's interesting that 'cologne' rhymes with ___."
          12. 23A
            Turned yellow
          13. 24A
            Head of technology?
          14. 26A
            Green party honoree, for short
          15. 29A
            *"If I were blind, I'd wear a ____ all the time."
          16. 34A
            *"'This door must remain closed at all times.' And I was, like, 'Dude, you're thinking of a ___.'"
          17. 35A
            Head start for tag or cache
          18. 36A
            Clean a lab coat?
          19. 37A
            Disney monkey
          20. 38A
            *"If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I'd probably just start calling out ___."
          21. 40A
            The Cowboys, next to the score
          22. 41A
            *"Swimming is a confusing sport, because sometimes you do it for fun, and other times you do it to ___."
          23. 43A
            Approval, on Talk Like a Pirate Day
          24. 44A
            Elasticity
          25. 45A
            *"I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that's 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says ___."
          26. 47A
            Aerodynamic
          27. 48A
            Get ready, quickly
          28. 49A
            Peyton's QB brother
          29. 50A
            Like Christmas cookies in spring
          30. 53A
            *"___ is a very different game when the people playing are starving."
          31. 59A
            *"Never forget where you came from. That's what I think when I walk into a ___."
          32. 60A
            "___fired" (Trump's hacked password)
          33. 61A
            Voyage for Spock
          34. 62A
            Found a perch
          35. 63A
            Follow, as hijinks might
          36. 64A
            "The Snow Queen", as adapted by Disney
          37. 65A
            Snafu
          38. 66A
            "For ___ sake!"
          39. 67A
            Like a positive outlook
          Down
          1. 1D
            Money maker
          2. 2D
            Assistant with a hunch?
          3. 3D
            Where there's smoke
          4. 4D
            *"Saying, 'I'm sorry' is the same as saying, 'I apologize.' Except at a ____."
          5. 5D
            *"Game, set, match equals tennis. Set, match, run equals ___."
          6. 6D
            Hippo's dress in Fantasia
          7. 7D
            General ___ Chicken
          8. 8D
            Aden resident
          9. 9D
            Govt. retirement agency
          10. 10D
            Unload, as with stocks
          11. 11D
            "Oh ___, what's in the middle? The white stuff." (Weird Al lyric)
          12. 12D
            Comedic actress in "The Nanny"
          13. 13D
            Three-time Grand Slam champ
          14. 21D
            ___ trick
          15. 22D
            Amazon's source
          16. 25D
            "Brooklyn 9-9" actor Braugher
          17. 26D
            Swayed while dancing or driving (slang)
          18. 27D
            Board game with forbidden words
          19. 28D
            Demoted planet
          20. 29D
            Chips, sometimes
          21. 30D
            Pokemon with a lily-pad on its head
          22. 31D
            "Good Vibrations" or "Good Lovin'"
          23. 32D
            Make like a tree?
          24. 33D
            "Doctor Who" exterminator
          25. 35D
            *"One time I saw two ___ fighting and I thought, this is a pillow fight, ahead of time."
          26. 38D
            Unit of petrol
          27. 39D
            Rebus pronoun
          28. 42D
            Pairs, while in time of three
          29. 44D
            *"___ is the herpes of craft supplies."
          30. 46D
            FaceTime device
          31. 47D
            ___-mo
          32. 49D
            Olympic weapons
          33. 50D
            Trick
          34. 51D
            Word with tall or fairy
          35. 52D
            Car rental company
          36. 54D
            Send packing
          37. 55D
            One, to a logician
          38. 56D
            Guthrie at Woodstock
          39. 57D
            Ocean's Twelfth
          40. 58D
            *"I want to make indifferent graffiti. 'Toy Story 2 was ___!'"
          41. 60D
            *"When you're having sex with somebody, you can say 'yes', you can say 'yeah', you can say 'uh-huh'. But for some reason you can't say ___."
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