1A
Captain who totally should've learned to speak whale (seriously, where's Dory when you need her?)
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Across
  1. 1A
    Captain who totally should've learned to speak whale (seriously, where's Dory when you need her?)
  2. 5A
    Counterfeit, bogus
  3. 9A
    Implement used in schools when paper wasn't a thing
  4. 10A
    One of the three legs in the Sphinx's riddle
  5. 11A
    "Ugh, I HATE geography, especially having to memorize all of these place names. Seriously, ____ is this stuff?"
  6. 13A
    Pink Floyd's "____ You Were Here"
  7. 14A
    Bird perches such as birches
  8. 15A
    Bug
  9. 16A
    Sticker for school children?
  10. 18A
    "Math isn't my strong suit either, but if you take the time to explain things to me, then ____"
  11. 23A
    ____ bloomer (...no, it's not "OKAY")
  12. 24A
    Org. within "keep away smog"
  13. 25A
    Part of a baseball cap
  14. 28A
    Metal in blood
  15. 29A
    "Chemistry, on the other hand - especially when we do experiments in the lab... that's when I truly am ____!"
  16. 32A
    How your voice is meant to sound WHEN YOU TYPE IN ALL CAPS LIKE THIS!!!
  17. 33A
    Just like ewe
  18. 34A
    Tolkien creatures who most likely have no idea of what an otorhinolaryngologist is
  19. 35A
    Unit of cell data? (or the protagonist of the Emoji Movie, but I'd rather not bring up the Emoji Movie)
Down
  1. 1D
    Cold state
  2. 2D
    Owneth Shakespeare's wife, with "away"?
  3. 3D
    ___ Z (like the dictionary)
  4. 4D
    Big ___ (world-famous bell tower) (cue "it's not the tower at all" comments)
  5. 5D
    Like Luigi in "Luigi's Mansion", pretty much all the time
  6. 6D
    Animal that's beyond cross?
  7. 7D
    Poker term that's Latin for "before"
  8. 8D
    "It's OK... I guess" interjections (or 35-Across and others in the Emoji Movie, but I'd rather not bring up the Emoji Movie)
  9. 9D
    Word sometimes implied to follow "tee"
  10. 11D
    Abbr. in a Call of Duty game title
  11. 12D
    Piano exercise (or something pupils do at any normal école) (I think, I don't know my French that well)
  12. 16D
    It makes people stone-faced
  13. 17D
    Value measured in degrees from the equator (abbr.)
  14. 19D
    British insurance giant
  15. 20D
    At peace
  16. 21D
    A point ahead
  17. 22D
    What pupils may do after (or during) an intense gym class
  18. 25D
    Like a demon, even when you move the last letter to the start
  19. 26D
    Words before "the joke"
  20. 27D
    Writing that's far from kid-friendly
  21. 28D
    "Sign me up!"
  22. 30D
    Part of a raft, or diary on a ship
  23. 31D
    Apple tester?
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