You know the old saying about a group on monkeys and the works of Shakespeare, well apparently if you give me a computer and enough time to just be silly, a puzzle emerges. There is no meta answer, there is really no good sense to this except that I hope my punny nature and some odd definitions cause you some laughter. If you try to solve this using your "usual" crossword sense you'll be at it all day. Think DrTom or MikeyG to the extreme and that might help.
Can I make an appointment?