I ran into the character limit above; but I'll add that some of my quibbles may just be due to the 'localised conventions' that I've been introduced to don't overlap with what you've commonly seen. So feel free to ignore any of what I said-hopefully not the compliments though :P
The wordplay is great for 4D and 23D; cool surfaces 11A and 26A. Good noun/verb switching in 19A. IMO some definitions could be tightened up (5D, 16D, 18D, does 23A need a '!'). Careful with targeted fodder 17A, and 3D/13A/21D/22A are imo a little sketchy for wordplay
Banged up telephone (ok i realized too late that this isn't a down entry but treat it like it is, i'm proud of this clue) (4)
20A
"Come on and move! Pee, stupid!" (5, 2, 2)
22A
Nailing top to eye? That's sweet! (this is just a cryptic clue kids don't nail tops to your eyes (don't nail anything to your eyes for that matter)) (5)
23A
Weirdly, I see hornier animals (9)
26A
Philosopher lets a riot go crazy (9)
27A
Offensive learning and teaching enter business (5)
28A
Carpenter is from Massachusetts, kid (5)
29A
Places for bent trash, say! (8)
Verticales
1D
Start of long torture decline (8)
2D
Tear was shed, right in the heart (5)
3D
Take a deal, say (5)
4D
Virgin drinks furries' costume parts? (9)
5D
Mixing well, meld crabs with eggs (9)
6D
Bring in heavy lifter - this is crucial! (9)
7D
Spread out, functioning like some numbers? (6)
8D
Baseballers are back in their games, temporarily (4)
14D
Alibi gets confused and ties into what you're capable of (9)
15D
New Englanders go back around fair, in brief (9)
16D
Safety pens keeping 23D held up as parts of lab experiment (9)