"by age 25 you should have one going out outfit (fancy), one going out outfit (slutty), and 42 interchangeable cute black ___ to wear with jeans" --@holy_schnitt
10A
Vehicle that you straddle and ride
14A
"Crazy for You" artist
15A
Dating app that requires an application
16A
BTS song with the lyric "I love my fans"
17A
*Reason a restaurant might be closed on a night they're usually open
19A
Push one's buttons?
20A
You might have it on locs
21A
Email abbr. that's akin to "STOP" in a telegram
22A
Five Guys french-fry seasoning
24A
Device for people who are going places: Abbr.
25A
*Don Draper's given name
28A
Paratha ingredient
30A
"The Martian Chronicles" creatures
31A
"___ Silverstein was a communist!" --Jack Donaghy
32A
The king famously keeps his in his sleevies...
33A
Succumb to gravity
36A
Room that I have not experienced since moving to NYC
38A
"___ for Me" ("Crazy Ex-Girlfriend" song crooned heartbreakingly by Santino Fontana)
40A
6th, and 9th, and 69th, for three
41A
Setting of "The Thief Lord"
45A
"Miss, how come you don't ___ your shirts?" (comment from one of my students that will haunt me til I die)
46A
Gives an appropriate response to "Would you like to watch the 'Gossip Girl' reboot?"
47A
Chico
48A
*Insects that will probably survive the apocalypse
53A
Stroke
54A
"The Neverending Story" warrior that Baby Malaika had a serious crush on
55A
"Abbott Elementary" principal who's been dating Andre Iguodala for two years ((He's been dating her for five))
56A
Dirty, dirty spot
57A
Ingredient in a cocktail at a cute restaurant offering a fresh fusion-y take on Indian cuisine, probably
58A
*Club access
62A
State where Taylor Swift was raised, but not born
63A
Fruit that I actually still do not know how to pronounce
64A
Creature featured in a 2011 animated movie about star-crossed lovers
65A
Makes all bothered
66A
"You ___ have to be rich, to be my girl / You ___ have to be cool, to rule my world" ("Kiss")
67A
"The Princess Bride" heartthrob (or you may know him as a dashing art thief on "Psych")
Down
1D
Final, dying attempts
2D
Thought for many upon watching Tom Holland's "Umbrella" lip sync
3D
Union that represents the drivers of the Central Park horse-drawn carriage (but not, tragically, the horses themselves)
4D
Movie in which Zooey Deschanel gets manic-pixie-dream-girl-ed by Will Ferrell
5D
Gave a second breakfast
6D
Light rail vehicle
7D
Implement on a lake date
8D
Michael Jackson song inspired by a label on a lingerie set
9D
Call before a snap?
10D
Certain washers
11D
"Head over heels," for one
12D
Snuggly-looking marsupial (those ears!!)
13D
"The Westing Game" novelist Raskin
18D
Taro dish similar to fufu
23D
Make very wet
26D
Airline that serves stroopwafels
27D
"Just Dance" console
29D
"I'd like to say we gave it a try / I'd like to blame it ___ on life" ("Almost is Never Enough")
32D
Text that might be accompanied by the :pleading face: emoji
33D
Performance that's really taking off?
34D
Common aspect of a mental health day
35D
Full sets of make-up?
37D
Organ attached to a fallopian tube
39D
Non-ideal metal for Valentine's Day jewelry
42D
Org. whose website's frequently asked questions page includes "How can I find out if the government has records on me?"
43D
"Monsters, ___."
44D
Live in sin, according to some
46D
Purchases for someone bravely deciding to ignore The Sweater Curse, maybe
48D
Sharp decorations
49D
Option at the end of a drop-down menu
50D
2004 teen lit book about crystal meth that kinda wrecked me as a middle schooler but that's okay!! Sometimes middle schoolers read scary books and it helps them mature and grow.
51D
Woman who is depicted on a shirt I just bought with snakes coming out of her eyeballs