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Brute-Force Crypt Squad [Anti-Cryptic]

● · By Sapphire · Published 2023-01-26T02:06:05.422Z

Constructor's Note
Frisco forced me to do his recent cryptic so this is my revenge: an atrocious cryptic that will make you hate yourself. (James Joyce would be proud of me.) [PS: This is not my official return to crosswording or anything, I just wanted to do something stupid and silly. I may make some other puzzles in the future, but nothing consistent.]
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    Play today's daily mini crossword
    1A
    If boxy crabs: wheezes "Were there birds?" (Alternative: No words, just tweeting) [5]
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    Across
    1. 1A
      If boxy crabs: wheezes "Were there birds?" (Alternative: No words, just tweeting) [5]
    2. 4A
      Awfully hot M&M [63]
    3. 7A
      "Fuckin' [-swing, genre]s! How do they work?!", once they understand [15]
    4. 9A
      Ha, sharkbait! [5]
    5. 10A
      Five kings, dangerously kissing her [5]
    6. 11A
      Boomer's glitching end forfeits expressionism [34]
    7. 13A
      Before he felt like the GOAT in YouTube terms, he 85'd a 92 [5?]
    8. 15A
      Boss to fired sloganeer: "Go home!" [23]
    9. 16A
      One who clumsily trries again [7]
    10. 17A
      A wolf named Scott or a Brit-less masked travesty [5]
    11. 18A
      Personal copy of Common! Technical! Temperature-Based! (Or, How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Go From First To Last) [5]
    12. 20A
      Understanding "Quaky Hairnet" Situations: Part 3314 [96/2526]
    13. 21A
      Chumbawumba: An Engine For Th'Letter [9/261]
    14. 22A
      Facepunch [5]
    Down
    1. 1D
      Wince-inducing rug tossing/body burning (Before its order: "Sixes in three!") [9]
    2. 2D
      Radiohead - Lift [0:38] (You: "How annoying! Don't push that!") [87]
    3. 3D
      Can you (use slang at last)? There's an app for that (and by app I mean account) [335]
    4. 4D
      This Justin: Toy Story Kid Becomes Twitch Streamer's Last Name [5]
    5. 5D
      Russian political advisor: [32/5:1423]
    6. 6D
      Happy, satirically [5]
    7. 8D
      Checking cluttered corpse: "Coma?" [7]
    8. 10D
      Casually, a rude anime boy storyline (No, I'm not cluing this any other way. This is your one lifeline.) [353]
    9. 12D
      gasp It's underage music! [7]
    10. 14D
      (Have) watched a classic or lost yourself in a yelp-inducing sight [45/315]
    11. 17D
      Situs inversus! Do you truly disemvowel by leaving? [5]
    12. 19D
      Last, last, first, first-and-last! You've seen it this whole time! [5/11111]
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